


i gave all I could give (it seems like it never really was enough)

by orphan_account



Category: Escape the Night (Web Series)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, POV Second Person, Season 3 Episode 9 Tag, Swearing, also, because its what she Deserves, but i'd rather be safe, i guess??, i'm??? still figuring out tags, its like, one word?, stylistic lower-case, there is exactly One Capital Letter in this work and it's for Nikita Dragun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2020-07-30 20:47:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20103379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: you're last words to her were "you're not gonna shoot me".well, she sure as hell proved you wrong.(or, manny comes to terms with how he died)





	i gave all I could give (it seems like it never really was enough)

**Author's Note:**

> title from hurt by oliver tree
> 
> mm first fic (both for the fandom and on ao3!) and also i wrote this in one sitting with minimal editing after a 4-hour car ride so feedback is appreciated.

in the end, you can’t really blame her.

* * *

you never really thought she would do it. you weren’t even sure that she  _ could _ do it, but, here you are. clearly, even you underestimated the Dragon. you won’t make that mistake again. (not that you’ll be making  _ any _ mistakes anymore, but that’s beside the point.) 

* * *

you tried your best, at least. one of the last players standing, surely that counts for something? given your current situation, however, close clearly only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades, or maybe just in empty boxes and loaded revolvers. 

* * *

the point of all this is that you can’t fault her for what she did, just because she was successful where so many others had failed. you were all just fighting for your lives, even at the cost of your allies. it took you too long to realize that friends were fair game as well. 

you’re a little jealous of  _ him _ , though. he died, and he got to be the other survivor? you’d call bullshit if you weren’t the one to put him in that situation. and, ironically, you almost envy ro; in the way that you killed him, he killed her, and yet her last words, a declaration of love, were returned by him. you never considered yourself the type to want that, but you suppose anything would be better than how it ended.

* * *

you’d say this was about forgiveness, but is there really anything to forgive? let he without sin cast the first stone or something, right? you know yourself well enough to know that you’d have done the same thing in her shoes. perhaps that’s why you said otherwise; maybe she’d hear the plea for what it was. (you know she did, and that’s why it hurts that  _ she still did it _ ). even if you could pull the trigger, you’re not sure you could bear that burden quite like she does.

* * *

despite everything that happened, you wish her the best. after all, she did win fair and square (unlike the other two, but you’re not exactly in a position to judge, are you?). in some ways, she got the rougher end of the bargain;  _ she’s _ the one who has to deal with the fallout, while you don’t have much to be concerned with anymore. (is that why you’re still ruminating on this?) sure, you’ve got your unfulfilled wishes and ceaseless regrets, but it’s over for you. no, you both got shafted by this deal, by this demon. maybe she and the detective can help each other live, instead of just survive. (there’s that unkillable optimism of yours again.)

in the end, you can’t really blame her. 

**Author's Note:**

> you ever think about how fucked up this show would be if it were real? like, there've been some horrifying deaths on EtN, and s3 really took it up a notch. like, i thought justine's death was bad, but then colleen's!!! and then!!! nikita had to shoot manny!!!! so clearly i have some feelings about that. 
> 
> lmk what y'all think, and hmu with that good good feedback cuz i really do thrive off of validation


End file.
